Books I’ve been reading and their stories

For months and months I was only reading kanji and studying Japanese. So I was very excited to get some books during my short London trip. I think it activated the book-shopaholic in me, and now I want more books to read in English!

I wanted to write about the many things I’ve been loving these past weeks and months, something that’s not thoroughly shared through my vlogs and videos.

I didn’t read any English books from January until July, but I was surprised with myself that I was able to finish two books after my London adventure~

In Other Words by Jhumpa Lahiri was like looking into a mirror — finally seeing myself— the book described a lot of similarities with my life. I don’t know her but I felt so seen, so heard, so alive through the pages of her book.

I think I put it on my list one day some years ago because of reasons already forgotten. I like to dive into things blind so I never read about it, I just kinda knew it was about languages. On my day visiting Daunt Books in London, I wandered through the shelves labled by countries and imagined myself flipping though plane ticket itineraries as I read the labels.

“Sweden, Spain, Germany, Italy, Rome, Venice…”

I coulnd’t help but stop by my city, Venice. The book was just there, seemingly lost.

You see, my name is a bastardised spelling of Venice. In Italian, however, Venise means ‘to come’. 

In Spanish, you can call on someone or urge them to come by saying ‘vien’.

I used to hate my name, unusual for most kids around me. They made fun of my name and sang songs about it. I wanted to be a Gemma, or a Vanessa.  A common name everyone knew how to pronounce or to spell.

But as I walked by Daunt Books in London, —wandering aimlessly amongst the books that don’t spark anything in me— but collectively made me feel like I’m part of something— I had a purpose. I find myself in the Italian section. Venice, books about Venice, books set in Venice, all about the ancient city and the history of the lagoons.

I find a lost book. Out of place in the sea of books about my namesake.

“In other words” 

I never got it because I told myself, “no more books, I’m studying kanji”.

It was a lost copy, a display copy. I’m usually the person who prefers a new copy.

A fresh print.

I asked the book manager if they had a new one. He said their system’s a bit different. If I buy this one today, a new one will surely be delivered tomorrow. He asked if I wanted to order a fresh copy and it’ll be here tomorrow. I’m only in London for another day and a half and I had to take a cab to go to this area so I hesitated.

He checked the system and found three more copies on-hand. He pointed me to the direction and I went, hopeful. 

I checked the aforementioned shelf, three times in case I missed it. Nothing. Finally, I had one last stroll around, grabbed another book in my list and proceeded to check out.

He asked it I found my book, as if it was already mine even before he scanned the barcode. I said I gave up and I’ll take the display copy instead. He asked if I was sure, examining the book with a worried tone. I said I’m happy with it, adding that I might not be able to come back tomorrow.

He scanned the items, I asked for the tote bag as a souvenier, too, and I paid.

I’m not the best at maths so I didn’t really notice but, when he pulled out the tote he said in a calm, kind voice—, “and this is a present from us, as compensation. Sorry for your book.”

Like I already owned it. Like it was already mine, just waiting for me, until I got to London, until I got to it. Until I found it amongst books about Venice.

I was surprised and shocked but ultimately I gave him the biggest smile. A big thank you, he smile and said “see you”.

I went out of the store and jumped with joy. It made my day, that book manager made my day and it wasn’t even noon yet.

When I excited opened my book, it was a bit worn out. But I smiled. There it was, passed from hand to hand around that glorious bookstore. Perused by strangers, both locals and tourists of London.

It was waiting, it was breathing, it was living within that bookstore. Seeing the life and the countless stories carried in and out of it. Until it reached Venice. Until it found me. Now I take my book, and I place it with a fond smile on my face amongst my other things, my other books that have been living with me. I say softly, “welcome home”. I finished reading it even before I arrived in Rotterdam. 

呪文のような名前、私に特別な魔法をかけた。

Now, I’ve learned to love my name. There is always something coming. I am always coming and going. I find strange things, familiar things, unexpected things because of this name. I live it, I didn’t know it but it was for me all along. Thank you, Papa. 

I wish you could see. The world as it opens for me. 

I relate to a lot of Jhumpa’s experiences and she captured the many contradicting feelings involved with liminal identity, foreign-ness and language-learning in a beautiful and emotionally masterful way. It resonated with me and echoed warmth from the back of my heart to the fingertips of my unseen soul. I thought, “if I wrote a book, I’d like it to be like this”.

So that’s me. Kinda cheesy but it’s true. In my journey towards self-acceptance, compassion and self- love, I find this book to be a delicate flavour accompanying my mellow travels through this life. A familiar and exciting new freshness I didn’t think I wuold find. Thank you Jhumpa. We’re miles and miles apart but somehow, we are somewhat the same. And I know I’m not so alone. Thank you.

I also finished The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Now, almost finishing The Artist Way by Julia Cameron. All books I got from London at the same time. Somehow my psyche just grabbed these three books. Somehow something in me knew that I was craving for change and healing. the fascinating moment of sponteniety has been helping me reconnect with my instincts as an artist. The books have been such a joy to read and I find myself spending evenings away from the screen and just enjoying taking notes and reading. I reflect on my own experiences and how my state of mind is now, able and open to receive these messages.

As I continue to work towards my goals, as I continue to read more and more, I’m very eager to see where this journey takes me next. What about you? What books have been accompanying you these days? What are the stories that have shaped your journey and what are the books you continue to re-read and love each and every time?